Happy Birthday Little Man

Gavin celebrated his first birthday. We got to see him for the first time one year ago today!! How weird it was to remember that and see him today walking and talking and eating cake. He was a handsome little cowboy. He did better with the bandanna than the pugs did. Mommy and Daddy were very festive also. The food was superb and the company was a blast. Emily keeps telling us that there is not another one in the near future but we swapped out the funny pills on the top of the microwave for smarties so we'll see in nine months what's going on. We love you baby G. Thanks for being part of our family.

RENDEZVOUS

If you don't know by now it is a tradition to go to Cache Valley Rendezvous every May. I started counting how many years I have been attending and started feeling a little bit old so I stopped and just enjoyed living in the most beautiful valley in a far, remote location for 11 days. Leading up to our vacation we went through a horrific experience and I did re think leaving on vacation but only for a split second. After re grouping and pulling together we accually got away a day earlier than planned.

Upon arriving at our "home" we unpacked and fixed dinner. It was so quiet and dark at night. We went to bed early and enjoyed starting a fire and looking up through the roof on the the tipi at the stars. The night sky is amazing there. If you look East you don't notice so much city light. The next few days we just took it easy. Our friends came up for the weekend and we enjoyed a lot of GREAT conversations.

On Tuesday and Wednesday we had fourth graders from schools all around come up and get to see real mountian men and women doing skills from the trapping era. John talked about parflech and I talked about pemmican. It was a lot of fun and it is very interesting to hear what questions the kids come up with. Some of them are off the wall like " Why when you sit down can we see your butt?" Some kid asked John that after he sat down with his breech cloth on, "Do you always live here?" "Are you real people?" "Is that dog tame?" "What do you eat?" "Have you ever shopped at the store?" "You must be old to know all of this stuff." It kind of makes you wonder what these children do for their family vacations. I am just greatful to my parents that they allowed me to be part of this great rendezvous family and let me find out that it is great to hang with all types of people.

On Saturday morning Gene's Mom and Dad and Tim and Zack came up to visit. We fixed brunch for them and they got to see Gene start a fire with flint and steel. That afternoon Gene (Not John) shot in a situations shoot and had a great time. His team came in thrid place. Not bad for never dong this run before. That evening my family came up for LaRee's Tacos. They are not quite as good as hers but they went down just the same. We enjoyed visiting with the family.

Monday came too quickly and befor we knew it we were all packed up and heading home. Now we will have to settle for weekend jonts with our friends. Not near as relaxing but it will do until next May.

You ARE a red neck if.....

On Mothers day you pull out the back "damn fence" with the pickup truck and a chain and you are the driver while the men stand back and watch. It really was a blast and thanks to Nash we can now get into the back yard with the trailer. Yeah!!!

Just as he starts getting the projects rolling he puts in the announcement that he will be living in St. George now. Oh well, this project got done and I love it. We even burned the fence in our fires at rendezvous. It smelled great and kept us warm on the cool nights.

Hard Day, Tough news

This is the fourth or fifth version of this post. Sorry there are no little slide shows or even cute pictures. It is what it is.

This is by far one of the worst days in my life. Jelly Bean decided he had served his purpose and went home. I know I've heard how silly it is for someone my age to start a new family. When you love someone the way that I love Mandy, and when you enjoy life like we do, and when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt what an incredible parent Mandy is going to make (and she is going to be phenomenal!!), you go with it. Then out of no where you find out that the pregnancy is being terminated, it's like getting kicked in the nuts. You can't breathe or think or even function for a few minutes and then you immediately begin to wonder WHY???

We knew last week there was a small problem, but a quick call to the doctor set our minds at ease. Then today. May 14 Mandy sent me a text message saying that she was spotting again only this time it was heavier and there was clotting. I called her. She said the doctor told her that her body was in the process of rejecting the fetus.
They added that if it became problematic or she started bleeding too much to seek immediate medical care.

At first you rationalize that there was obviously something wrong and this is the best way to correct the problem. But then after you think about it for a minute you realize that after all of the intellectualizing and rationalizing you have done it still comes down to the fact that this was a little spark of life and it was the greatest thing the two of us could ever have done in our lives, and now its over, its gone, it will never be fulfilled and neither will all of the dreams and hope we had for the baby. We were so excited. This was going to be the most awesome baby ever.

I know our love will get us through and we can try again hut just for right now my heart aches for Mandy. She doesn't deserve this. May is her most favorite month between April and June. We get to go to rendezvous and spent two weeks living, learning, loving and sharing our greatest passion with like minded people. Then 2 years ago we lost Izzy and now little Jelly Bean.

We are lucky to have great family and a great network of friends to offer all the help we'll ever need, but we still have to get through this on our own. We love all of you, keep us in your thoughts and prayers for the next little while. Please bear with us and be patient when we have those little moments and need to center. We will get through this.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day MOM!!! Thanks for teaching, showing, being a great example, loving and laughing with me.
Two years ago this May I laid next to my mom in her bed for the last time. We laughed, talked, sang & just laid there for a long time. She knew that she wasn't going to be around much longer and I think I knew that too. She told me all of the things I should make sure I had packed so she could come up to Cache Valley Rendezvous and make Navajo Tacos. I assured her that I had everything thinking in my mind that there was no way she would make it up to camp. She was very ill and had not been out of bed that day. She sniffed my hair and told me I was her little smoke stack and that she loved the smell of a good bon fire. She said, it reminded her of a lot of good times in her life. We really didn't talk about anything of great importance that day. We didn't need to. All my life my mom has taught me EVERYTHING I know. Even when she didn't think I was listening, I got it. I just needed a little time of my own to process it and love everything she taught me. One of the last things she told me that day was that she loved me. We laid there and as I cried on her shoulder she told me it was OK for me to cry, especially if it made me feel better. She sang a little song to me and then told me to go make sure that everyone had had lunch. I asked her if she wanted something for lunch and she said, "No, I just didn't want any one at my house to be hungry."
I wish that she were still here, but I know that she keeps up with everything we are doing. The next day was the saddest day of my life. Losing my mom changed everything. Happy Mothers Day MOM

Happy Birthday Too You...DAD

wow, this feels like an instant replay. Ok it is but it wasn't planned. It's just one of those things that happens in life that you life with. Today is my father in laws 82nd birthday. I hope that when I reach that point in my life I am still as agile as Albert is today. He is a huge fan of walking. Every morning if you drive in his neighbor hood you will find him out for a walk. Even when we go on vacation he is up at the crack of a doughnut to go for his morning walk. Ok, now I need to rephrase that. He is ALSO up at the top of the morning on vacation. Most of us go on vacation and don't do our normal routine of 5:00am walks, but Albert keeps right on walking. He is a great traveling companion and is a wealth of historical knowledge. He is even a great tease. The best part is he can take as much as he gives. One of my favorite things in the spring time is knowing that I will get to go help him plant and fix his flower beds. This year has been too rainy or we would have been out there by now. Maybe Friday this week will hold out to be a great GARDEN Day. If you have ever gone on a road trip with him you know that you will never be lost. He keeps track of the towns better than I could dream of. A few years ago we went to Colorado to the Four Corners, Mesa Verde, Anasazi National Monument & this cool place down near four corners that we just happened upon driving back to Cortez. Here is a picture of what we saw...

Everything was built in these round formations. All of the "houses" were built in the rocks that were coming out of the crevasse in between to Mesas. It was amazing and we did a lot of climbing and exploring. We saw lizards and birds. It was an amazing discovery, thinking about why people would build in the middle of a valley and in the rocks. It was also fun to wonder what went on in this society. We all shared our ideas and had a great time "thinking".
Our next road trip will be to Custer Battle Field. This is on the "bucket" list. Hopefully this summer we will all be able to free up some time to head to Montana.
Happy Birthday Dad...We love you! Mandy and Gene

Happy Birthday MOM!!!

Today John's mom has a BIRTHDAY!!! How fun it is to have a Cinco de Mayo birthday. I am so glad that I have been able to get to know Julia. She is so funny and can always make me laugh. One of my favorite things to do is go for a ride. They guys always get the front and we have the time of our lives in the back. I have gotten the scoop on many good stories about lot of different things. She always has an ear when I need to talk. I was very worried a few years ago when I lost my mom because I thought that I would never have a mom again. Little did I know that just because my mom isn't here, Julia couldn't act just like her in a "crisis" time for me. I love taking road trips and going out to try new things. One of my favorite memories was going to Longmont for a wedding. It was one of our first trips together. I had to work grave the night before we left for a very long car ride. When we got on the road I was tired. I tried to nap a bit on the way but it was really hard. When we got to Colorado, we went out for dinner at Village Inn. Never mind that I was so tired I was punch drunk but it seemed that everything that could happen that could even be remotely funny did. We sat at dinner and laughed the whole time we ate. When we got back to the hotel I asked John if his parents thought I was crazy. He reassured me that it was ok, that they likes me and they would still like me in the morning. They STILL like me and we love to spend time together often. If we go for a week with out seeing them I feel that a little piece of me is missing. Happy Birthday MOM!!! xoxox Love you Mandy & Gene