Life knows how to keep you moving

Yesterday I was charging my phone in my car so I didn't have it with me.  When I got back to my car I had three messages.  A text message from my sister asking if my Dad had gotten a hold of me, a phone message from my Dad and a text message from my husband.  I figured I'd call my sister back.  She asked me if Dad had gotten a hold of me.  My stomach dropped.  I had not talked to him yet, but I could tell I was not going to like the news she or he had for me.  She told me that Dad called to tell me the biopsy from his prostate came back as a positive for cancer. 

Wow. That word really gets you going.  A flash through a lot of emotions and then the questions start.  I made it through our conversation on my drive home but when we hung up and I pulled into my driveway my eyes started to water like crazy.  I remember so vividly the day my Mom called to tell me she had cancer.  My life has changed a lot since that day, I was in my basement apartment in Clearfield and I was so angry and upset that I drove to Nephi and back just to process.  I remember fearing that she would die the next day or that she would be in so much pain that she would hate all of us to be around her.  Well that's not how it happened and I learned a lot from her even if she died so early. 

 So I went in to fill John in with the news.  On my way in the house I called my Dad back.  It's funny to be able to envision yourself handling the same news the same way your father is, minus the fact that I lack the body parts that make it possible.  I pointed that out to my father and he belly laughed.  My Dad, if anyone enjoys a joke in EVERY situation.  I never remember a situation that he couldn't find humor in.  Sometimes that made me mad but now I know its a great way to cope through the tough parts of life. 

I really hate cancer.  I hate that it hurts so much and that there is no cure.  I hate that the treatment is horrible and takes a lot out of you.  I hate the fact that there is so much unknown about it that it feels smarter than you.  I often wonder about the "whys" in life.  This week I'm just focusing on the facts and trying to grasp a hold and hold on with both hands.  Life is sure a roller coaster. Get on and enjoy the ride.