Some of you know that two years ago we were hoping to bring a baby into our home. Things didn't work out the way we planned and we never got to bring the baby home. I had started collecting baby items and had a bit of a stock pile when we thought it was possible. It still amazes me how much stuff you can collect in just a few weeks.
Today as I was looking for things to take to my nieces baby shower on Saturday I had a great idea. Why not clean out a few of the storage bins downstairs and get that baby stuff to good use. So, I have been sorting and crying, crying and sorting. Part of me feels excited to be emptying boxes from the basement. Part of me is mourning that things didn't work out differently. I am trying not to look at it as giving up. I would love to be pregnant and give birth to a healthy little baby but part of me longs for closure and a way to move forward.
Life has taken a lot of turns in the past few years and I know that healing is a very important time of life. Getting to the healed part may be hard but once I get there I can only imagine how much better I will feel.
Good thing Emily and Kaitlin are having babies. I have the perfect gifts already.
You are a wonderful person and your endurance is a testament to your stuburness and humanity. I am greatful to know you.
ReplyDelete